it's crock pot season!

and we all know what that means...

delicious food waiting for us when we get home from work, and we didn't even burn the house down!

the crock pot is like the holy grail of lazy kitchen appliances. i'm definitely not shit-talking its effectiveness, but i'm still struggling to figure out why more people don't own them. they're cheap, they make life 1000x easier, and they make even the most kitchen-illiterate person seem like an amazing cook. that's because the secret to delicious food is time. 

one of my absolute all-time favourite crock-pot recipes is one that mom used to always make (obviously). braised short ribs with carrots, onions, tomatoes, and egg noodles. i don't know what it is that she puts in there, because she has given me the recipe countless times, but i feel like i can never replicate the shit my mom makes. two words: next level.

i'm not one to really use measurements in recipes, but i'm going to try my best with this one.

- 3 lbs short ribs (bone in)
- 1 medium yellow onion, coarsely chopped
- 1 large carrot, peeled and coarsely chopped
- 2 cups water
- 1/3 cup ketchup
- 1/4 cup soy sauce
- 4 cloves garlic, minced
- 2 Tbsp flour or corn starch
- 2 Tbsp vegetable oil
- salt + pepper to taste
- 4 cups egg noodles, cooked al dente

now here's the easy part -- the part where the crock pot takes care of business for you while you slave away in front of a computer for 8 hours.

put oil in skillet over medium high heat and quickly sear all short ribs, about 2 minutes each side. set aside.

combine all ingredients (except flour/corn starch and egg noodles) into a slower cooker. adjust quantities based on how much room your slow cooker has. turn that shit on low, walk out the door, and forget about it until you get home and get slapped in the face with the most delicious scent of all time. and you know what? you've earned this.

turn off the crock pot and do your best to try and scoop out the layer of delicious beef fat sitting on top of your creation (i'm literally drooling as i type this, but in all, be careful not to burn yourself doing this). if you are more cautious than i am, and can actually wait to eat your food, then let the slow cooker cool down, throw the short ribs & marinade in the fridge overnight and scoop out the floating icebergs of fat.

once the fat has been separated, put it into a separate saucepan and turn heat on medium low. add flour/corn starch into fat in small amounts, making sure to continually stir or whisk it. basically what you want out of this is some sort of roux to thicken the remaining fatless marinade. once the fat + flour mixture becomes a doughy-looking paste, turn up the heat and start adding in tiny ladles full of the remaining marinade. do this a couple of times and then take the entire roux and dump it into the short ribs. you want to ensure that the short ribs are still relatively warm when doing this.

once your sauce has been thickened completely and to your liking (you may have to adjust the flour/corn starch ratio for this), season the stew to taste and ladle massive scoops of it on top of freshly-boiled, al dente egg noodles.

let cool, and then proceed to stuff your face until you fall into a food coma.

your finished meal should look something like the photo above, however there's a pretty good chance you won't really have much time to actually appreciate the aesthetic food-porniness of it because you'll want to inhale it.

sidenote: this meal is best enjoyed with a shit ton of cayenne pepper or crushed red pepper flakes as a seasoning. also, a nice malbec or carmenere won't hurt either.

bon appetit, mes amis!