biscuits and graaaavy and everything's crazy

Last night the lightbulb went off in my brain for "highdeas" (you know, those amazing ideas you get when your lazy, thc-filled brain can only think of the easiest, most non-labour-intensive way to make something satisfying for the stoner palette).

I decided to have an impromptu pizza party at my place that turned into copious amounts of conversation, copious amounts of booze, and an unnecessary amount of food and weed. Obviously everything was ingested and good times were had.

My bestie sarah was pretty much at the helm of this ingenious idea when we had a text conversation yesterday. I had replied to one of her texts with the word "gravy", to which she replied back "biscuits and gravy", and naturally my brain added sausage gravy to pizza dough with cheese. And thus the spawn of southern and italian cuisines was introduced to the world.

So sure enough, I decided to go to the store, buy a ridiculously large pack of bratwurst sausages (or if you make your own, that would suffice tenfold!) and some individual-sized pizza crusts and got to work.

Here's a recipe for something that I promise you will never regret everytime you put it into your body (and is so easy to make, you can do this shit in your sleep!).

- 1 pack individual-sized pizza crusts (there should be about 3 or 4 in each pack)
- 2 teaspoons vegetable oil
- half a medium yellow onion, diced finely
- 5 bratwurst sausages, casings removed
- 2 cloves garlic, minced
- half teaspoon each garlic powder and onion powder
- 1 heaping tablespoon all-purpose flour
- 1.5 cups milk or half + half
- salt, pepper + paprika to taste

And here's the easiest part, putting it together!

Grab a medium-sized saucepan, turn the heat up to medium-high and once that shit gets hot, dump the oil in there. As soon as THAT gets hot, dump the sausage in the saucepan. Let that shit cook and be sure to smash the sausage up so it looks kinda ground-beefy. Once the sausage is about 80% cooked, throw in the onions and garlic and let cook until they become soft and the rest of the meat is fully cooked.

Once that's done, dump the flour into the mixture and incorporate. Once your mixture has kind of turned into a pasty-looking kinda thing,

Cook out the flour for a couple of min, then add in your milk/half + half. Turn heat up a bit higher and let mixture thicken. Once you've reached a desired consistency, add in your garlic and onion powder and salt and pepper, and you're good to go!

Once the gravy is done, scoop ladles of it onto your pizza crust, and preheat oven to 350F. When it's heated to the proper temperature, throw that shit in there and let it bake for about 20 min. Take it out, sprinkle some parmesan cheese on top and broil for 7 min.

Take out, let cool, smoke a bowl or a joint, and smash the shit back. YOU'RE WELCOME.