thanks, friends.

this evening's post won't be anything really cerebral (not like anything that i ever write on this blog is even remotely cerebral), it won't be very funny and it won't be anything that jumps off the top of my head.

if you aren't ready for a rant that's pretty real-life and relatively intense and definitely not funny, then you should probably go here. if you are capable of dealing with a serious lydia, then continue on.

tonight i would like to touch on something that isn't exactly the easiest thing to deal with. it definitely beats divorce and getting arrested for insider trading by a thousand on the scale of worst. that thing is loss. "loss" being the people that you met and that made an impact on your life in some way. that person can be your friend, a rad acquaintance, your family, or even someone who you didn't even know that, from afar, changed your life in some way, shape or form.

last evening a massive group of friends lost their friend, a wife lost her husband, and a family lost one of their own. every day this happens and it's such a common occurrence, but it doesn't really quite hit home until it happens to you. in no way am i trying to be a finger-pointing wench, but i feel as though every time i say a permanent goodbye to someone in my life, i get a progressively harder slap in the face waking me up to the reality of how actually temporary (for lack of a better word) life is.

last evening we lost our friend. the situation was really awful, terrible and could have been completely avoided, but alas the universe makes our fateful decisions for us. my heart breaks endlessly to know that the last time i saw this friend was only a couple of weeks ago. him and his beautiful wife (whom i had the pleasure of meeting that evening) came by to visit several friends at the sugarbowl where my friend chris and i were djing.

it's so haunting to know that a situation that was so light at the time would be the last time i would have ever been able to say anything to him. maybe that's why i so firmly believe in never holding grudges, and enjoying life for what it is and to not take anything so seriously. because when you factor things like that, paired with anger, you may sometimes have very regretful final words, whether or not they are directed to anyone. those words will forever burn in your psyche.

so, i guess what i'm trying to accomplish out of this random, rambling, but somewhat coherent rant, is to take a step back and appreciate everyone that enters your life. yeah, of course you're going to run into at least 500 assholes that will essentially ruin your life in some manner (physically, emotionally, financially, etc), but if your mind isn't clouded with anger, stress and endless frustration toward trivial things, then you will learn something from these assholes and eventually capitalize off them SOMEHOW.

but then there are those golden people who make you laugh, whose faces you remember because they were so distinct and so rad -- having those people in your life makes dealing with those 500 assholes worth it. because when you both say what's up, high five, order beers and bullshit for a while, they produce dope memories in your brain. and those are the memories that make you appreciate everyone around you that much more.

so make sure that every time you say "goodbye" and "i love you" to all your friends and family, you mean it, and you say it like you mean it. because you'll never know whether or not that will be the last time.

rest in peace, brennan.